F L A W S O P H Y

[EVIL TWIN] did youtube do this to you ever ?

2012-01-26T08:45:00.000-08:00

from the desk of evil twin ...

You are sitting in your office cubicle engrossed in work busy typing away something that would eventually increase someone’s carbon foot-print as a result. Suddenly, the person in the next cubicle starts laughing all of a sudden in a loud, uncontrollable, characteristic duck-like quack. It turns out that he was watching some funny video on youtube and refused to instinctively remember his spatial (“place”) and temporal (“time”) context, that’s all - no emergency. And you just sit there - feeling a little weird having been conspicuously left out of the experience. Did youtube do this to you?

Similar incidents have been reported of all-of-a-sudden swearing, unprovoked slamming on the desk, uninvited aggression on office supplies and very often, non-grammy award winning singing performances (seriously? you thought you could pull off “When the Levee Breaks” like Robert Plant while wearing a formal shirt ?) … all out of the blue and out to challenge the silent boredom of an office teamwork environment.

More evil-twin material at flawsophy's evil twin page.

Are you a video junkie ?

2012-01-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

I was at the airportterminal the other day. The flight passengers are slowly emerging one-by-onesoon after the immigration and customs desk. I am just waiting right outsidethe door in the lobby. There was another desi couple waiting as well. Soon a desifamily - a lady, her husband and a small kid emerge as the automatic door opensand this waiting lady rushes to hug and greet them. She is all smiles and happyto see her visitors from home. Now, the guy (of the waiting couple) seems toshare none of that kind of excitement but instead decides at the moment to bean unofficial Alfred Hitchcock of the family. So, he is standing waybehind, trying to record the whole thingusing his iPhone. To get a better view, he moved so far that heand I, at one point of time, are actually equidistant from the just landed family's luggage trolley.And he is recording the whole spectacle while his wife is prancing witheuphoria. And now, he is irritably asking his wife to settle down because sheis moving way too fast for the frame rate of a standard iPhone camera. Now, he isdirecting her to come closer, turn towards him and pose, you know, all thatkind of stuff.

And I am just sittingthere with my mouth wide open, trying to comprehend what is happening: Here'sactually a guy who instead of participating in the pleasant ritual of cordiallywelcoming your guest is impulsively trying to record the reactions on the faces of his wifeand his just landed guests after a 28-hr flight.

Question: What is oneobvious thing you can say about the guests?

Answer: They are nothis relatives. They are his wife's relatives.

Moving on … Seriously,what can one possibly do with a video like that ? I wonder how many times thisvideo is going to be played. Who is going to watch a video of your relativescoming through a rectangular hole in the wall - not a space shuttle door, justa normal automatic door in an airport lobby. What information could this videohold even 10 minutes later? Yet, it is saved in the memory disk of that man'sphone for eternity. You know, if the whole humanity is wiped out because of analien attack and somehow, his iPhone is the only phone that survives and alienscatch hold of it. And then, they see this video. And, if my intuition can be trusted, his phone is going to be full of videos like that. What are those magnificent aliens, those inter-galactic super-organisms going to think?They would think mankind considered walking through a door an achievement. And,as the readers of this blog very well know, walking is certainly not an achievement.

Day by day, people areeking through life irresponsibly, not worrying about the legacy they are going to leavebehind. You see, this kind of thoughtbothers me on days when it's too cloudy.

New Year and the Law of Large Numbers

2011-12-31T21:17:00.000-08:00

Folks, lets cut to thechase. I present to you a simple question: How was your 2011? Do you rate it as :

Below average
Average

Above average

If you want me wish youa happy 2012, it means I also have to wish you a crappy 2011. According to theholy laws of probability, The LAW OF LARGE NUMBERS indicates that if you had a"below average year" in 2011, there is a very good chance (probability = 67%) that youwill have an above average year soon so that the average is maintained. So, ifyou are going through a lean (below average) period, soon things have to getbetter soon hopefully in the next year just for the sake of the average, if not for you (It's not personal ... It's math !!!). Now, did you have a bad2011? If so, no amount of bittersweet love from certain someone can stop you from awonderful 2012. So, rock away, all-my-dear-friends-who-had-had-an-utterly-forgettable-2011. But, if you think, 2011 wasawesome and wonderful or according to the vocabulary of the sacred texts ofprobability, "above average" - you might have to curb your enthusiasmsoon. Now, don't complain for it has to even out, after all.

(You are free to pounce upon me for this ridiculous logic. Take it away, nerds)

While on some rationaldays, I let mathematics decide how my days and years are going to be but, thereis this creative side to me ... the dark side, if you will … a side whichperceives the dimension of time as a relative phenomena like a non-linear arrowwhirring alongside the emotional quality of my life experiences … it races whenI am having a good laugh; it is reluctant to budge when I have to write my PhDthesis and refuses to go back when I jump a traffic signal and the cop catchesme … I seem feeble to control time now … it is refusing to commit to a merecalendar … it's taking over me now … I feel weak. And vulnerable … I don't believe the New Year actually. Oh! DO NOT get me wrong. It's not that I don'tconsider new year worth celebrating - I leave that debate to other pseudo-intellectuals. It's just that, deep down, I don't feelit's the new year yet. And, at thismoment, I don't prefer to get my truth from your lame calenders, thanks to my artistic sensibilities. In the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, lurk theghosts and shadows of all years gone by. In fact, It took me a long time to accept 2011 and guess what, I still have some hangovers of 1995 - when I am now quietly sneaking outthe house from the hind bathroom door to play street-side cricket having surreptitiously placed my dismal 7th gradequarterly exam progress report to beattested by my parents, not wanting toruin a good day's game just because I bombed in the insignificant geography exam ...

I guess somethings aregoing to get only worse like we hadWalmart introduce a line of anti-aging makeup cream for 8-year olds but somethings will remain exactly the same like Carbon will remain the sluttiest elementof the periodic table and will continue to do interesting and entertainingthings with it's BFF (Best Friends Forever) - Hydrogen.

FLAWSOPHY personallywishes you (pick any three but mix-n-match as you please) a {wonderful; romantic; handsome; prosperous; peaceful; godly; wet; gifted; adventurous; horny; demystifying; lucky; jus'safe-&-sound(if you are aiming low)} … HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

Cheers.

A Dick-tator's Dilemma

2011-12-19T22:52:00.000-08:00

PROLOGUE:

North Korean legend hasit that Kim Jong Il was born on Mount Paekdu, one of Korea's most cherishedsites, in 1942, a birth heralded in the heavens by a pair of rainbows and abrilliant new star.

He died on 17thDecember, 2011 while riding a train.

------------------

You do realize that theson of the just dead North Korean dictator has no choice but to be a crazylunatic. Don't you? Let me put forth my usual flawless logic to prove the same.

If he has the slightest humanity, that slight weakness of compassion and holds back the crazy, there are enough people pissed off with his dad that he is going to be right away pounced upon, overturned by some disgruntled cook in the military canteen or worse, bumped off. So, he cannot hold back the oppression or start being a normal human without let going off his power or the way of life.

He can try being a nice guy, install democracy and beg forgiveness from people but that's like shocking the system. Any country must have a transition. The people aren't even trained to deal with reality at the moment let alone govern themselves. That's like locking a bunch of monkeys with typewriters to put together a Shakespearean sonnet in one night - the last time we tried it, the room required a lot of cleaning just because of what the monkeys ate. The idea is just suicidal unless has no problem being a homeless civilian in a South Korean based old age home.

The real whack part is that he can't even emulate the tactics of his dad. He is in his late twenties. There are a lot of people who have been watching every move of his dad's for decades now - sorry dear, the same tricks may not work. Thus, he not only has no choice to be a violent dictator but also has to crank up the crazy in his own creative way. Now, you see what pressure is it to be Kim Jon Un?

It's a point of no return. The ultimate irony of all is that with the kind of legacy his dadleft him, he has no option but be a mental dictator killing and starving millions just tomaintain his life. Eat that.

You had had to be the nut to win this thing in the first place. FOR THOSE WHO CARE, just refer to the story of how the third son got the throne in the critical elimination round:

Kim Jong-il's formerpersonal chef, KenjiFujimoto, revealed details regarding Kim Jong-un, with whom he shared agood relationship,stating that he is favored to behis father's successor. Fujimoto also claimed that Jong-un was favored by hisfather over his elder brother, Kim Jong-chul, reasoningthat Jong-chul is too feminine in character, while Jong-un is "exactlylike his father". Furthermore Fujimoto stated that"If power is to be handed over then Jong-un is the best for it. He hassuperb physical gifts, is a big drinker and never admits defeat."

SOURCEWIKIPEDIA <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Jong-un>

What say?

The Language of Shopping - Episode 1

2011-12-08T10:53:00.001-08:00

1. Friends, it has come to my attention that they are now selling "Vegetarian Eggs".

Now, I don't have my own cooking TV show nor have I ever authored any best-selling cookbooks. But, I can assure you that the concept of "Vegetarian Eggs" is pure grade-AA nonsense. If you take the world's worst botanist and inject illegal amounts of crack into him and then pop the question, even he would find it outrageous to conclude that the egg-shaped object resembles some vegetable family. It is clearly not a vegetable even if God endorses it. Ok?

But, you see the marketing wizards call them "Vegetarian Eggs" because …. hah, hah, hah … they fed the chickens vegetarian feed. Since when did we start caring what our food ate? How the hell is a vegetarian life-style of the chicken whose cloaca popped my egg (That's right, bitches. It's "cloaca" - look it up !!!) supposed to make the egg vegetarian? In fact, Why go only 1 level down? If we go 4 levels down, we are eating earthworms for dessert. I bet that thought is even more comforting.

2. Cell phone companies must stop using logic like, "Talk more to save more". First of all, if I waste all the time doing more small talk with people I am not interested in, when will I earn enough money to afford this ridiculous cell-phone plan to save more later. As you can see, the goddamn thing is already dead-on-arrival. Trust me. There are reports coming in that people are turning to infidelity, making new acquaintances just because they have extra talk-time on their monthly contract. I know it's all good for business but what will happen to the moral compass of our generation if this trend goes out of line? Someone like me needs to step up to question all this.

Talk More to Save More? - When did our criteria for cellphone consumption change from maximizing personal convenience to minimizing call charges per minute?

3. I love the Kohl's store with all their saving coupons but I think they really nailed it in this ad:

In this case, you $15 "Kohl's Cash" for every $50 actual cash you spend. Observe the tagline that says, "THERE IS NO LIMIT TO HOW MUCH YOU CAN EARN". and notice how they have equated "spending for goods" to "earning super-shopper points". When business interests can courageously imply "SPENDING" by using its very antonym "EARNING", I immediately realize that we are entering an interesting phase in history and I just want to say that I am glad to be alive in this time and age.

EPILOGUE:
If you thought marketing is all about taking fresh horse-manure, sprinkling some glittered perfume on it and then enclosing it in a transparent designer container and charging you for the perfume and the container, you are getting only part of the story. Marketing people want more from you than you thinking that they are full of shit. They are not done with you yet. What they want is you to be tired of thinking that they are full of shit. When you are fed up, when you stop paying attention to their noise, that’s when you start taking them for granted and you start ignoring them. And that's when they can flood you with over-choice. That's when they get away with selling anything. That's when you start shopping without properly processing information. That's when start getting what they want. BINGO-BANGO. (Also refer: "confusopoly")

Keep visiting this section as we unearth more shopping scandals in future episodes.

Finally, a word from our production team (just making it sound official for this obvious marketing ploy) :

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you "Like" us on Facebook and also check out our twin blog - "flawsophy-evil twin edition" for continued enlightenment.

Silly Points : Episode 9

2011-12-03T21:01:00.001-08:00

THE MOST HONEST TV CHANNEL

Hello, I am F-TV. I show creatively-covered pretty girls all day long. Simple, honest and direct programming when you find yourself in the simplest of moods wanting the most simple things in life. If you aren’t the type who likes checking out the latest shoe trends, we still might have something else for you.

No trying to sell you anything. No sensationalism. No loud music to attract your attention. No script. No pretension. No reality TV. No joking. No BS.

What’s inside is what’s outside - all puns intended. Enjoy your stay.

A MASOCHIST VISITS HEAVEN

This is dedicated to all those religious people left in this world who are aspiring to go to heaven. I have a question about heaven if it's actually an attractive post-life destination. Firstly, I hope that you agree that a reasonable definition of heaven is that it is a land of eternal happiness - where everyone is always, always happy with no other options. Now, allow me to indulge you why I think that is a suspicious state of mind.

If we are always happy, then we have all we ever wish and desire, then there is nothing left to do and nothing to crave and nothing to act upon - because we have EVERYTHING !!! Suppose, you wish to have an ice-cream. On earth, you have to actually take your car out and make sure you have your driving license and registration are in proper order. Then, you have to drive carefully following the lame traffic rules just to avoid the horror of speaking to an insurance agent. Then, you enter the damn store and you have 86 flavors to choose from. As you can see, the whole ordeal of buying an ice-cream itself is a painful undertaking that any reasonable definition of happiness must avoid all these constraints. In heaven, a mere thought of an ice-cream would probably result in flashing lights, sparkles and lo, the ice-cream magically appears. At this rate, there is nothing people need to do. Soon, we would find even thoughts being painful. And since all kinds of pain are strictly banned in heaven, we will not be allowed any thoughts even. So, now we are someone who have no desires and thoughts to act upon. Our minds are still and blissfully resting in peace forever. In other words, we are exactly like dead people. Therefore, I seriously doubt if anyone wants to be "eternally happy" !!!

You see? Happiness must have separation as a prerequisite. We need to be separated from the thing that is going to make us happy so that when we get it, we feel good. The way I look at it, heaven and hell are metaphors for our emotional states of happiness and misery respectively. Our mythology and religions identify them as physical places representing the extremes but they are nothing more than symbols. We experience "heaven" when we get the ice-cream and "hell" when your car is towed because you took too much time in deciding what flavor of ice-cream to get. With this concept in mind, let me interest you in a B-grade definition of life - "A constant subway ride between the two terminals - heaven and hell".

You see my problem? I don't know what part of understanding heaven am I getting wrong but it probably has something to do with shallowly equating happiness and ice-cream.

TISSUE PAPER ADS

I have never seen an ad for a toilet tissue paper in my life. Did you? I don't know what the future will be but not once so far have I come across a commercial on TV nor heard one on the radio nor ever saw one of those full page ads in newspapers that tell me the benefits of one brand of toilet tissue over others. Why is that? Some people might argue that products that are miraculous and those which deeply affect our civilization's standard of living needn't have a marketing campaign and that they can sell themselves. The Google search engine is a top notch example in this category. Something as useful as Google is easily spread through word of mouth - no need to spend any money to constantly remind people. Well, there is some sense in this line of argument to explain the lack of ad space for the toilet paper industry.

I feel there is another huge reason. It is really hard to get models to endorse a bathroom tissue. Between you and me, it won't make a great resume point. Plus, it is not at all easy to perfectly gesticulate an expression that conveys the sublime satisfaction derived from using a given brand of toilet paper. Actors with such kind of prowess are usually better off making Oscar speeches thanking their mothers and insane amounts of crazy good-luck in their lives.

How desperate must "Charmin" have been IF they hired a cartoonish bear ?

A MUSE ON SNORING

All things remaining same, do you think a person with a habit of snoring burns more calories than a person who doesn’t snore?

I mean, because of the continuous sound energy emanating for about 7 hours every night? - The energy for the snoring must come from somewhere inside. Right? Given the current state of economy, I guess it will be insensitive to fund research like this, when people are struggling to put food on the table. It’s really sad to see our curiosities and freedoms crumbling like this because of a bunch of bank employees.

On a totally separate subject, "‘coz he/she snores too loud !!!" has to be shallowest reason in history of humanity for breaking up with someone if it were to happen. What say?

[EVIL TWIN] Collecting Money

2011-11-12T15:26:00.001-08:00

I am kind of icky when I have to ask money from people who owe me.

“Would you mind giving … umm … the 5 rupees you owe me 4 months ago in the state fair. Remember, I swiped my debit card for your Rs.55 and you gave Rs. 50 in cash but … oh yeah … there is no urgency but try to make it over the weekend … you know what … never mind, it’s just 5 rupees “.

That’s how horrible I am with extorting my own 5 rupees from people. The point here is not how cheap I am to ask 5 rupees from 4 months ago. There is another interesting side of me which is diametrically opposite to this behavior: when it comes to asking people money for others, I have no shame. None at all. It is a lot easier, somehow. Let’s say I am this bad-ass sidekick to the great Khan dada. Ok? And, it’s time for weekly collection of our dues from the local business people in the Devi Chowk area. And I observe that owner of Lakshmi textiles has been trying to pull a fast one on me for quite a while now and I have had had enough with this sonofabitch. Here’s how easily I can rough him up:

“Hey … hey … HELL called and it wants your ass back in there. They could use you for fudging some accounting records to cheat the local tax-payers of other sinners out there. What do you say, how do you like a short-trip to hell ? You stinkin’ *********** !!! ********** ***** of all the ******s . You better pay your dues like everyone else. Got that? Everyone has the same admission price in my Devi Chowk.”

See? That’s the magic. I have no problem asking money for others but if it’s for me, I squirm like an Indian politician in the middle of an income tax raid or a moody earthworm who just heard the rain forecast.

Maybe, that’s why they created the MBA degrees - to fulfill the lame function of collecting money for the company. And it’s easier for someone else to do it than if you are the owner of your firm. As an entrepreneur, it’s hard enough as it is to start a company, worry constantly about it’s product lines, growth, the stock price and to keep going around asking people for pending bills. Instead, why not hire one of those B-school blue-eyed boys, call them “sales associates” and let them do the dirty work? In return, we allow them dress up nice in suits everyday and all of us shall pretend as if its alright to talk weird and phony.

(From the desk of EVIL TWIN)

Note: In this post, I have completely changed my personality and personal hygiene habits to protect my privacy. The events described are entirely fictional and any resemblance is purely coincidental.

The mysterious case of Steve Jobs' philanthropy

2011-11-04T01:05:00.000-07:00

Apparently, some of thepeople's major problem with Steve Jobs is that he is not philanthropicenough. I don't understand these peopleat all. If you look at some of the recent newspaper articles (links: 1, 2, 3), they insinuate a kind of general disappointment that Steve Jobs in spiteof having $8.3 billion dollars has not publicly donated anything to thenot-so-fortunate ones. The tone of thearticles you will find is that of unmistakable whine and gossip as it heavily draws inspirationfrom the literary style of mediocre tabloid : "Ya know? He earned somuch and never gave anything. What's he going to do with all the money? Jeez,how much does one need? Anyway, he is a genius, though." They take extracare to point out that Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Mark Zuckerberg have donated their wealth.

I am not interested inhaving any opinion on what Steve Jobs should have done with his excess wealth.But, what I am amused about is how we have the audacity to presume thatwe are somehow entitled to demand philanthropy from people. Why are we thinkinghe should donate some money? Just because we allowed him to get rich? Justbecause his fellow rich people like Billgates and Warren Buffet are doing it? That brings to the most interesting partof this phenomena. Most of us don't even know what Bill Gates is doing with allthe charity any more than their commercials that interrupt youtube videos oncein a while. Most of us don't even care how much or what charity is being done,what is the cause, who are the beneficiaries, and how effective is it? All weare interested in knowing is whether a rich dude is giving something back ornot. It's all too idle, folks. Let me help you recreate the thought process in our brains:

"hmm … he made aton of money … huh?"

"does he do anycharity ? "

"oh he does …that's so sweet and humane to give it back"

And the analysis stopsright there and the mind playfully meanders to curves on the pretty lady who is improvingthe ugly façade of the opposite Subway Sandwich Store by 890%. At best, we are justhappy to know that someone is donating something to an arbitrary cause that apparentlyassists anonymous people who are allegedly poor. That is the maximum vaguenesswith which we care about the philanthropy of the super-rich. And yet, we wantMr. Steve Jobs to indulge us lest he fall prey to our instantaneous moraljudgments. Doesn't this behavior seem a little queer to you?

Both Bill Gates andSteve Jobs are great personal heroes of mine and not just because of their charity.They have led a life of passion, doing things that they care about and changedthe landscape of our society in incredible ways and it's really unfair to comparetwo of the classiest entrepreneurs of our generation based on what they chooseto do with their bank balance. Why can't we handle two awesome people? Why must there be a comparison always? In fact, I don't require any of my heroes to doany charity. My rule for a hero: "Charity: Optional".

The very concept ofcharity is itself very interesting - especially because the motives behind itare not that obvious. I sincerely admirewhat the likes of Bill Gates are doing because he not only gave the money butalso gets to carefully oversee the effort and I feel that is awesome. For those who cannot monitor to that detail, even if a lot of us care aboutdoing something in the world, many studies also repeatedly question theeffectiveness of charity. For example, Linda Polman in her book "The Crisis Caravan: What's wrong with the Humanitarian Aid" explains how the grassroots delivery of charity is extremelycompromised because of the rampant theft and corruption among the warlords in apoverty-stricken areas like Somalia and Haiti. She also provokes us to questionthe aid organizations and their ability to do what they claim. May be a wholebunch of us are donating just to feel good and not bother if there is any realchange. Not surprisingly, much of that money ends up in political campaigns rather anyserious social changes. All this should evoke a serious debate on the idea ofcharity itself. Just blindly thinkingthat charity is an absolute awesome deed is one of debatable myths of ourgeneration. Also, who says that charity must come in certain forms like givingaid to the impoverished? Never forget that one of the main engines ofcorruption, theft and exploitation in the global economic network relies on middleclass's ambition and consumerism itself. So, if you can help the middle-classunderstand the ecological footprints because of their lifestyle - that's greatcharity too, according to me. Why?, the rapid rise of cell phone industry is funding a civil war in Congo - the bloodiest since world war 2. When we change our smart-ass phonesevery 2 months, we got blood on our hands. As you can see, how the economics is tied to exploitation is morecomplex than you think. We have got to be careful when we wax judgmental onother people.

Here was a guy whorelentlessly created one of the iconic and charming companies of our generationblending beauty with technology. He propelled our species to quickly evolve frombeing a soda-sipping primate to a gizmo-groping primate. He helpeddisrupt and revitalize established industries likemusic, cell-phone, PC, computer animation, gaming etc. with magnificent technology and tasteful productdesign there by, creating millions of jobs and billions of dollars worth ofwealth creation. And somehow, that's not enough service to humanity? Is thishow we are treating our geniuses?

Of course, I neverbought any of the apple products. And, for 2 major reasons: (1) the incorrigiblebehavior of my fellow chappies who couldn't have an adult conversation withoutmentioning their latest apple gadget repeatedly pricked my tender heart withfears of belonging to the phoniest club on the planet that considered shoppingand swiping a credit-card as an achievement in life; (2) the products weremercilessly priced for a modest graduate school stipend paycheck. Yet, SteveJobs is one of my greatest heroes for he spent his life reinventinghimself to create one innovation afteranother. All in all, here's yourtakeaway point: If my life can teach something, it's that you can be inspiredwithout spending a dime.

R.I.P., Mr. Steve Jobs.
FLAWSOPHY salutes you.

The Vaguest Valediction

2011-10-22T14:13:00.000-07:00

Do you realize that"Have a good one" is as vague as it can get when it comes to wishinganyone farewell ? "Have a goodone" specifies nothing ... absolutely nothing. What could "one"be ? It could be anything you want. Is that flexible enough for you? If youwant to have a good morning. So be it. If you don't want to limit yourself tojust a morning but insist on having a good, whole day, you got it, my friend.Although, I think it's downright greedy to expect that I wish you have a goodfull year, but I know I am being generous when I said, "Have a goodone". It reminds of Jerry Seinfeld's routine on blank greeting cards:

Yeah. Who knows what hellwill break loose if we wish someone "Have a good day". Right? Betternot take a risk and just say, "Have a good one".

Contrary to the popularopinion, It’s way better than those lame "Have a good time" or "GoodLuck". You can even wish "Have a good one" to a freshly marriedcouple or someone who is about to run a marathon or someone who is about to go to thecourt for being a crime suspect. It works for nearly every situation and perfectlyconceals our intentions. I might be a twisted persona in many ways, but ifsomething can be used in the context of both marriage and a criminal law suit,I think it's VERSATILE !!! It’s the most ideal valediction for our current societywhich aims for "one-size-fits-all" solutions in everything like acell phone which can select clothing, send work E-mail, order pizza and postyour infidelity location / schedule on social networks right away (that is, if you forget to turn off your notifications… ouch !!! ).

And the best part is itmakes you look super-cool. Being cool these days is all about subtly proclaiming that you don't care about anything or anyone at all. "Have a good one" isthe one valediction that accomplishes it with amazing ease. If you don't believe me, just say "Have a good one" and "Have a nice day" to the same person back-to-back and observe which one is cooler. I rest my case.

In fact, voteme into public office and I promise that I will take the vagueness ofpolitical rhetoric to greater heights by over-using "Have a good one"to everyone especially to those poor farmers.

Have a good one, folks.

Something that brought tears ...

2011-10-07T00:28:00.000-07:00

I recently saw this video whereAR Rahman was interviewed at the GQ Man of the Year Awards 2011.

(Roll over to 0:50)

Journalist: Sir.Welcome, Sir. Who will become the man of the year for you ?

AR Rahman: Man of theyear for me is Anna Hazare.

Journalist: ok …[awkward pause] Also, sir."Rockstar" is coming up. We really can't stay away from asking about"Rockstar" …

The funniest part aboutthe above exchange is the awkward pause of the interviewer and that all hecould mutter was just "ok …" before quickly changing the subject. Thejournalist seemed truly taken aback by the Rahman's answer of Anna Hazare. Ofcourse, the answer has an unmistakable cynicism and (probably) deliberatesarcasm. Now, I don't want to have a discussion on whether Rahman truly meantit or if it's a good PR strategy. Either way, that's a move of a frickin' wickedgenius, as far as I am concerned. Imean, to have the nerve to bring up some over-the-hill social worker fightingfor rights of the middle class on an awards night sponsored by an up-scalefashion magazine is classy satire.

Of course, Anna Hazarewas not even nominated. What do you expect? He has no chance. First of all, hewouldn't look good in a suit, so they wouldn't have let him into the clubanyway. Forget the six packs, this guy doesn't even have the basics of hygieneright. He wants to stop eating for country's sake. Simply put, that guy is nuts. After all, itwas a night when the rich and the beautiful have promised to remove themselvesfrom all reality and dutifully fist-bump and congratulate each other for beingconsistently awesome every day for one full year without taking a single break.It's hard to awesome. Ok ? Normal people like us may not understand. That'swhere the media is constantly trying to help us country bumpkins be better in life.

Seriously, the wayjournalist dismissed away Rahman's answer is incredible. It's really sad that he had nothing to acknowledge. I mean it was the most interesting answer of the night. Check out this video to see how every other celebrity awarded themselves to be the "man of the year" proving the lameness of their big fat egos. Rahman sir's answer did bring tears into myeyes. The media just doesn't care. Forget articulating a decent response, they don't even feign a passing interest in the issues of the common man if they cannot make them any money. Wanna know a simple reason why the media has no reason to care? The poor and middle class is not good-looking and photogenic for the camera. Ok? The media is usually all about masking their intentions with pretty faces. So, we are all useless that way. Moreover, the poor have no jobs andconsistently represent all sadness and misery of humanity. It's allnegative outlook and disruptive of a perfectly happy day they are having by sellingcell-phones and cola drinks.

This somehow reminds me of what revered journalist P Sainath said once:

For media leaders, thelives of ordinary people make no sense in their economic calculations andrationale. They can't buy the products these people are selling. So whatinterest is their life to the media owners. We had this fantastic spectaclelast year where a gigantic fashion show is going on with 500 accreditedjournalists were covering it for a full fucking week. If you went there, you'dsee the journalists and cameramen fighting for space threatening to hit eachother - "this is my space" - because they need to get the girl comingdown in their clothes at just the right angle. 512 journalists covering a fashion week !!! The percentage of peopleusing designer clothes, according to the industry … according to the industry …is something like 0.2% to 1%. You had 512 journalists to cover that. It's notthe journalists' fault. It's what their media wants.

In the area that Nagpuris the main city, more than 5000 farmers have committed suicide in the last 6years. According to the Government of Maharashtra, 1520 committed in the year 2006 alone. In just one year 1520committed suicide - you work out how many per how many hours that is. Those 1520 farmers who committed suicide, thecotton farmers. Don't you think that’s news? While the fashion show shows models displaying cotton garments. The guyswho grow the cotton are killing themselves one hour away - not just guys, theguys and the girls the husbands andwives and daughters and sons are killing themselves because the price of cottonhas been destroyed by Indian government on one hand and American and EuropeanUnion subsidies on the other hand.

We do not have a singlecorrespondent in the national press whose full-time job it is to cover povertyin the country which has the largest number of poor people in the planet …

[Please watch thecomplete video. This man's a goddamn hero]