Monday, March 12, 2012

from the desk of flawsophy's evil-twin ...

I am simply annoyed by the way every scandal now has a suffix "-gate".
What's going on? Today we have Monkey-gate ... Fodder-gate ... porn-gate ... exam-gate ... memo-gate ... horse-gate ... and so on. Between you and me, what images cross your mind when you hear the word "monkey-gate"? Whatever it is, it is definitely not some angry cricketer who said "maaki" and an Australian with  Australian ears heard it as "monkey". Isn't it? This whole media business of suffixing "-gate" to the name of a scandal is completely unnecessary. Believe me. I have done exhaustive research looking into the depths of cosmos only to conclude that there are simply no physical laws or rules on how to name a scandal. It is usually the media's first contribution to the crime in question - by adopting a thoughtless naming system that helps to divert and cover-up the actual facts and motivations.

I wonder what happens when we unearth a scandal in which we find that every night for the last 5 years, this politician has been secretly jumping over the parliament gate to sneak into the building and come out with a whole bunch of cash and stack it in his home. What would we name that scandal? "Gate-gate" ? I simply can't wait for this irresistible day when the media would realize how moronic their naming pattern for a scandal is. Here's another one. Let's say this time, politician with a completely different facial muscle structure but the same overall moral blackness is involved in a huge international racket that smuggles asses and other beasts of burden across national borders and needless to say, gets caught. What would we name that scandal? "Ass-gate" ? You would think "Ass-hole" is more appropriate. Ain't it?

Besides, the whole gate thing started with "watergate" which was the name of the building where that whatever-that-should-have-not-happened happened. It's a fake "gate" but still a gate nonetheless. So, why are we suffixing "-gate" to issues where there is no gate involved. Is it out of sweet scandalous seventies nostalgia? (or) out of respect for American nomenclature of scandal? It's not like American media even came up with the "-gate". They had no choice because it was the name of building !!! Do you see my point, god damn it ? I am increasingly concerned how we are hiring more and more people who have no skills other than cracking entrance-exams to manage our information and policy-making.

Finally, I unveil my rules for naming a scandal:

1) use words that describe the crime scene. Tell the truth, folks. There is already enough bull-s**t as it is. There is no need name it confusingly.  

2)Add "-gate" only if an actual gate is involved. Else, be a little cheeky and add a "-hole" to the name. I am sure you will agree it's much more 'rectify'ing.

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BK Chowla, said...

Yes,I agree

Twilight Musings said...

I wonder if it will be appropriate to call GATE-gate if the exam paper for GATE (Graduate Aptitude Test in Engineering) is leaked.

Let's motivate some smart students for the Indian ownership of '-gate'.

Sash! said...

@twilight: ... ha ha ha ... why didn't i think of that .... i had th politician jump over a gate :)

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