Lift me up, Floor me down

A completely unnecessary elevator melodrama.

It’s really hot outside and I just entered the library. I went around the elevator on the ground floor and wait for it to arrive. Soon, a bunch of us entered the lift and started pressing the respective floors they wanted to get off at. The library has 9 floors. I soon noticed that no one is getting off at my floor. In fact, no one in the elevator was even getting off lower than the 6th floor. But, there were too many people for me to go out and reach the panel to hit the button for my floor. So, I gestured to someone close:

Can you get Floor 2 please ?

Soon, a whole bunch of heads swirled in my direction with a judgemental look full of pitiful disappointment as if I am a incorrigible member of our noble species:

When faced with any embarrassing situation, my defence mechanism is simple. I simply philosophize the event: "There is no place for empathy in this world as long as people feel they are more worthy of using the elevator just because they want to travel to a higher floor".

Did I already mention that it was really, really hot outside?

Filed by EVIL TWIN

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The "Damsel in Distress" Situation - A Reprise

The vintage problem is revisited by the evil, evil desk of flawsophy's evil twin ...  

In a recent viral video aimed at promoting the cuteness and relevance of arranged marriage, the girl asks our poor friend:

If you see a bunch of guys teasing a girl, would you stop them?

First of all, I can’t believe that in the age of window-shopping and fighting corruption through smartphones, this question is still relevant. As ridiculous as this hypothetical situation may be, we have to still prepare for it. Here we go. 

PROBLEM STATEMENT: the girl expects the guy to rescue her.

A simple straightforward strategy that is popular with the minimally-gifted, mechanically-inclined gentlemen is to trash those goons and flee the scene. In fact, if you are actually hoping for a superpower to trash a bunch of idle-men with tobacco-tinted moustaches, you can equally hope to have the superpower to lift her and run with the twice the speed of average road-side goon. Carrying her and running away is much easily attainable skill since all it requires a heavy log, a stop-watch and an empty ground for practice. It is economical and non-violent. What’s the use of the Gandhi’s tattoo on your ass if you don’t practice non-violence once in a while. Heh?

Now some ideas for the girl. Keep a secret smoke-gun filled with anesthetic gases in mint-lavender flavor and just use it on everyone around you. One small side-effect: Your hero is going to collapse onto the ground as well. Hey, who knows if he hired those very goons to fake-trash them just to impress you. Screw him.

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The Difference Between 2011 BC and 2011 AD

May be you already heard the news that the Union Textiles Minister Dayanidhi Maran allegedly used his Union Telecom Minister's license during UPA-1 to build a BSNL exchange at his home to benefit his family owned Sun TV company. It seems they made close to 5 million calls per month for the Sun TV purposes which were never paid. Taking the torch on this amusement, CranksCorner brilliantly satirized the story with that of a minister who convinced the railways to build an exclusive railway station with tracks leading directly to his farmhouse. 

Let's stop pretending for a minute and think. Don't these powerful people live well? Come On. Admit it. Want more? Rahul Gandhi's birthday is now "Farmer Rights Day" (Just to ensure that those fundamental rights denied to them will be given back).

This reminded me of our early-man days when we used to just slay a whole line of trees just to build a fake bridge directly from our den to the pond and leading to the top of a coconut tree - all for fun. Those were the REAL days of freedom, when we had everything - not a care in the world, time and resources to do anything we want, destroy anything we find cute and hump anything that moves. The real freedom was then. No rules - Just free-willed awesomeness. Indeed, the Early Man's life was like a rich minister.

What changed? What's the difference between 2011 BC and 2011 AD? A whole bunch of poor suckers and some lame-ass laws to control them. If it were not for the poor, all of us would be rich. Now tell me who is the real problem !!!

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