Saturday, December 31, 2011

Folks, lets cut to the chase. I present to you a simple question: How was your 2011? Do you rate it as :

  1. Below average
  2. Average
  1. Above average

If you want me wish you a happy 2012, it means I also have to wish you a crappy 2011. According to the holy laws of probability, The LAW OF LARGE NUMBERS indicates that if you had a "below average year" in 2011, there is a very good chance (probability = 67%) that you will have an above average year soon so that the average is maintained. So, if you are going through a lean (below average) period, soon things have to get better soon hopefully in the next year just for the sake of the average, if not for you (It's not personal ... It's math !!!). Now, did you have a bad 2011? If so, no amount of bittersweet love from certain someone can stop you from a wonderful 2012. So, rock away, all-my-dear-friends-who-had-had-an-utterly-forgettable-2011. But, if you think, 2011 was awesome and wonderful or according to the vocabulary of the sacred texts of probability, "above average" - you might have to curb your enthusiasm soon. Now, don't complain for it has to even out, after all.

(You are free to pounce upon me for this ridiculous logic. Take it away, nerds)

While on some rational days, I let mathematics decide how my days and years are going to be but, there is this creative side to me ... the dark side, if you will … a side which perceives the dimension of time as a relative phenomena like a non-linear arrow whirring alongside the emotional quality of my life experiences … it races when I am having a good laugh; it is reluctant to budge when I have to write my PhD thesis and refuses to go back when I jump a traffic signal and the cop catches me … I seem feeble to control time now … it is refusing to commit to a mere calendar … it's taking over me now … I feel weak. And vulnerable …  I don't believe the New Year actually. Oh! DO NOT get me wrong. It's not that I don't consider new year worth celebrating - I leave that debate to other pseudo-intellectuals. It's just that, deep down, I don't feel it's the new year yet. And, at this moment, I don't prefer to get my truth from your lame calenders, thanks to my artistic sensibilities. In the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, lurk the ghosts and shadows of all years gone by. In fact, It took me a long time to accept 2011 and guess what, I still have some hangovers of 1995 - when I am now quietly sneaking out the house from the hind bathroom door to play street-side cricket having surreptitiously placed my dismal 7th grade quarterly exam progress report  to be attested by my parents, not wanting  to ruin a good day's game just because I bombed in the insignificant geography exam ...

I guess somethings are going to get only worse like we had Walmart introduce a line of anti-aging makeup cream for 8-year olds but some things will remain exactly the same like Carbon will remain the sluttiest element of the periodic table and will continue to do interesting and entertaining things with it's BFF (Best Friends Forever) - Hydrogen.

FLAWSOPHY personally wishes you (pick any three but mix-n-match as you please) a {wonderful; romantic; handsome; prosperous; peaceful; godly; wet; gifted; adventurous; horny; demystifying; lucky; jus'safe-&-sound(if you are aiming low)} … HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!



Snow Leopard said...

Hahahaha....really liked the "law of large numbers".
Personally I find wishing people on New Year, quite a task. You are supposed to feel good about something, party like a douche and wish people you won't care for for the next 365 days.

Sash! said...

@ snow: hehe .. thanks ...

besides, remember, it's not the new year yet .. so don't bother wishing :)

... and also, why the hell would you want people to wish you all 365 days? I guess we are actually fine with one-day-per-year-and-get-done-with-it system, now that i think of it ... :P :D

purnima said...

maths always has bothered me and the theory of probability its very tricky and your theory of finding what kind of year its going to be ahead has really confused me. So i would say everybody hopes for a good year ahead bcoz the hope theory says that hope never dies. Even though the year passed by was a bad one, everybody hopes for a better year ahead.

Twilight Musings said...

I have to disagree. LLN applies for identical and independent experiments.
What we have here, Sir, is a non-stationary time series. Our outcomes in present year are highly correlated to the events in yester-years.
You have to look up "Random Walk" to see that a crappy series of years will not guarantee a better year at the next run. Too sad, life is not even Markovian.

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