Saturday, November 12, 2011

I am kind of icky when I have to ask money from people who owe me.
  
“Would you mind giving … umm … the 5 rupees you owe me 4 months ago in the state fair. Remember, I swiped my debit card for your Rs.55 and you gave Rs. 50 in cash but … oh yeah  … there is no urgency but try to make it over the weekend … you know what … never mind, it’s just 5 rupees “.
 
That’s how horrible I am with extorting my own 5 rupees from people.  The point here is not how cheap I am to ask 5 rupees from 4 months ago. There is another interesting side of me which is diametrically opposite to this behavior: when it comes to asking people money for others, I have no shame. None at all. It is a lot easier, somehow. Let’s say I am this bad-ass sidekick to the great Khan dada. Ok? And, it’s time for weekly collection of our dues from the local business people in the Devi Chowk area. And I observe that owner of Lakshmi textiles has been trying to pull a fast one on me for quite a while now and I have had had enough with this sonofabitch. Here’s how easily I can rough him up:
 
“Hey … hey … HELL called and it wants your ass back in there. They could use you for fudging some accounting records to cheat the local tax-payers of other sinners out there. What do you say, how do you like a short-trip to hell ? You stinkin’ *********** !!! ********** ***** of all the ******s . You better pay your dues like everyone else. Got that? Everyone has the same admission price in my Devi Chowk.”
  
See?
That’s the magic. I have no problem asking money for others but if it’s for me, I squirm like an Indian politician in the middle of an income tax raid or a moody earthworm who just heard the rain forecast.

Maybe, that’s why they created the MBA degrees - to fulfill the lame function of collecting money for the company. And it’s easier for someone else to do it than if you are the owner of your firm. As an entrepreneur, it’s hard enough as it is to start a company, worry constantly about it’s product lines, growth, the stock price and to keep going around asking people for pending bills. Instead, why not hire one of those B-school blue-eyed boys, call them “sales associates” and let them do the dirty work? In return, we allow them dress up nice in suits everyday and all of us shall pretend as if its alright to talk weird and phony.

(From the desk of EVIL TWIN)

Note: In this post, I have completely changed my personality and personal hygiene habits to protect my privacy.
The events described are entirely fictional and any resemblance is purely coincidental.

2 comments :

BK Chowla, said...

When it comes to giving personal loan to friends--it is better ti refuse rather than go through hell and lose a friend.
As for company,lets not forget.If a company has creditors it has debtors too.Expertise lies in balancing the two

Sash! said...

@Chowla: Absolutely, my guess is that the whole profession of accountants, creditors, debtors and sales associates were created because it is fundamentally easy to ask back money on someone else's behalf than for yourself !!! :P

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