The Vaguest Valediction

Do you realize that "Have a good one" is as vague as it can get when it comes to wishing anyone farewell ? "Have a good one" specifies nothing ... absolutely nothing. What could "one" be ? It could be anything you want. Is that flexible enough for you? If you want to have a good morning. So be it. If you don't want to limit yourself to just a morning but insist on having a good, whole day, you got it, my friend. Although, I think it's downright greedy to expect that I wish you have a good full year, but I know I am being generous when I said, "Have a good one". It reminds of Jerry Seinfeld's routine on blank greeting cards:

Yeah. Who knows what hell will break loose if we wish someone "Have a good day". Right? Better not take a risk and just say, "Have a good one".

Contrary to the popular opinion, It’s way better than those lame "Have a good time" or "Good Luck". You can even wish "Have a good one" to a freshly married couple or someone who is about to run a marathon or someone who is about to go to the court for being a crime suspect. It works for nearly every situation and perfectly conceals our intentions. I might be a twisted persona in many ways, but if something can be used in the context of both marriage and a criminal law suit, I think it's VERSATILE !!! It’s the most ideal valediction for our current society which aims for "one-size-fits-all" solutions in everything like a cell phone which can select clothing, send work E-mail, order pizza and post your infidelity location / schedule on social networks right away (that is, if you forget to turn off your notifications … ouch !!! ). 

And the best part is it makes you look super-cool. Being cool these days is all about subtly proclaiming that you don't care about anything or anyone at all. "Have a good one" is the one valediction that accomplishes it with amazing ease. If you don't believe me, just say "Have a good one" and "Have a nice day" to the same person back-to-back and observe which one is cooler. I rest my case.

In fact, vote me into public office and I promise that I will take the vagueness of political rhetoric to greater heights by over-using "Have a good one" to everyone especially to those poor farmers.

Have a good one, folks.

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