Tuesday, July 05, 2011

I am a big fan of movies which have atleast some kind of story. My rule: “No Story. No Goddamn Movie”. It doesn’t have to be a complex whodunit or some convoluted artsy plot with multi-layered characters not getting anything they want in life. But if you ask me, a decent story is a bare minimum - Just one of those boy-meets-girl fairytales or the classic coming-of-age themes will do. Now, you have the story. Right? Here’s what you do:

Step 1: You take that perfectly pleasant 2 hr movie with all the twists, drama, comedy elements and shorten the script to fit it to just 30 minutes.

Step 2:
Slowly add the following one-by-one and keep stirring gently:
  • 1 hero - unshaven with cooling glasses on gay-looking flashy bike
  • 1 heroine who falls for the hero
  • 1 drunk scene in which no one wants to act
  • 7 fight scenes
  • 5 item numbers
  • 1 sentiment secular scene involving God and other related people
  • 3 scenes with average sound level of 160 dB (Some guidelines: Jet Engine - 168 dB;  Threshold of Pain - 130dB)
  • 2 happy endings (one will be finalized in Step 3)
Step 3: Film and Edit creatively while paying attention to Step 2

Notice that a decent story doesn’t require the Step 2 at all, but
a decent telugu movie must "have it all".

FILED BY EVIL TWIN

3 comments :

Purba said...

Wow and you have the recipe for success!!

But aren't you glad that the audience is giving such movies the boot.

Sash! said...

oh yeah ... that's damn true though ...

rmworx said...

Telugu Movie Review

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