Saturday, January 29, 2011


If you spend as much time in professional environment as I do, you got to be thinking about the right kind of office etiquette - what is a right- sized yawn or maximum allowable decibel of a snore from your power naps - you know, stuff like that. My latest muse on this subject is :

Is it a proper etiquette to ask your colleague to change his/her ringtone given that he/she gets frequent calls and that damn ring-tone music drives you nuts? In other words, can you blame your low productivity on someone's ring-tone?

No? Why not? Ok, let me give a situation.

Let's say you are in a dead-end job … right? Something like a fashion photographer in a mid-sized company that manufactures automobile parts. Still shots of greasy gears and pistons have become your specialty. Definitely dead-end. Right? You are slowly aging and you begin to worry about deeper goals that you set out when you were in college. Over the past week, you are beginning to get worried about getting stuck with photographing rusty radiator tubes and spark plugs. Today, you are really down and thinking nervously about your long-term career prospects and then his phone starts to ring - the same dirt-piece of cacophonous ring-tone for the 6 years you knew him !!! 6 years is a long time to get tired of any piece of 10-second music and you reach out to his desk, grab the phone from his hands and smash it to the floor.

Then, is it justified? Or should we control anger at all times?


I don’t know about you, folks. But, whenever I comment/update anything on Facebook, every sentence I write must end with a sweet emoticon - either a ":)" or a ":P". It is very important, in fact, as vital as a good and a clean heart, that people perceive me as a cool guy who insistently says everything with an undiminished smile. Else, what's the whole point of the internet? Glad to know that Facebook is full of people like me. People with top class sense of humor always use the smileys over the internet. But, of late, I began noticing that some people use too many smileys for what seems to be a very average joke. For example,

I am the type of guy who thinks that the number of smileys at the end of your sentence ought to reflect the intended laugh quotient (LQ) of a joke. In the aforementioned example, one smiley would have been quite enough. 4 smileys (:P) is like forking your tongue out for a straight 5 human minutes provoking many social researchers to conclude that you could be creepy in real life too.

This is a suggestion to all the guys who pose with guitars in their Facebook profile pics: Include two samples of your guitar playing. Here's why: I have a decision to make before I could "Like" your picture. Hey, the pic is quite good, but the problem with a pic containing you and the guitar is that anyone named Joe Strummer to Joe Satriani can look equally good posing with a guitar. There is also another reason for this: I spent close to $500 taking guitar lessons and can't play squat. That's why !!!

I love the English language so much that if it must be destroyed, I want it to be decaying in the right direction and with the right intentions. I am, of course, speaking of the SMS-English that has caught up with the hipper kind of FB users. Since there is no going back, I have a couple of rules to make:

Number One. Listen, if you must use a different spelling for a normal word, make sure that you are at least saving 2 letters. Ok?

        "Gr8" for "great" ; "hols" for "holidays" - GOOD
        "oder" for "other"; "dere" for "there" -  BAD

What's the point of saving just one letter when you type "lyf" for "life"? Besides, if you spell "life" that way, can someone explain me why you deserve a good horoscope?
Number Two. This is for those people who don’t even save a letter but try to teach me a fancy spelling like "T-Y-M-E" for "Time". Now, this is just plain idleness. I would not try to learn anything from you till I can confidently differentiate between a fancy spelling and your failed first-grade spelling test. 
Besides you are on a full-sized keyboard, not one of those alphanumeric keypads, the cell phone companies ordered you to use for communication. So, please do this bit for saving the English language. Wokay?


Let me end with a prayer. Look at the innocence in the children's eyes. Look at their happiness about not knowing the evil that lurks right in front of them. Don't you feel like stealing their happiness by locking all the children in a room with a limited number of toys? - but the Cheshire Cat says it's not possible. You know why these beautiful angels are always gleeful? Because, they don’t know a thing. It's all media's fault. The 24x7 media, in the name of TRPs and ratings doesn't hesitate one bit about telling me round the clock on these corrupt politicians, the greedy businessmen, the lonely rapists and the loose-mouthed activists. Since the dawn of time, people have always been imperfect and corrupt. But, societies were held together and peace was preserved by carefully-planned oppression and Machiavellian control of information by the ruling class. Today, the fourth pillar of democracy is upsetting the delicate hypocrisy that held our society for all these ages. Who forced it to tell anything? - it could tell me the color of the clouds and the morning song of a crow and I would have thought that was the day's news - but it is trying to tell me the truth and here's the worst part : it's not even the WHOLE truth, most of the time. Let's pray that media stops being irresponsible by ruining the sleep of our generation.

Lead me back to darkness. Let me dream peacefully. Unbeknown of the evil powers that act as manacles chaining the goodness of humankind. Take me back to innocence. Oh Big Brother, where art thou? Take me back to 1984 ...

Screw the prayer. I have time for only a cartoon:


... said...

> I liked the electron cartoon :)
> I think you should take that cell phone guy out for a lunch or at least coffee before you show him this post :)
> Fashion Photography of rusted spark plugs .. lol :) ;) :P :-8 .. I hope that is the right number of smileys :)

g2 said...

The worst is when people nonchalantly use cum instead of come!

lazykidarr said...

@g2 Teeheehee!!

Sash! said...

@ all: thanks :)

@g2: yeah ... you are saving only one letter over "COME" ... and that's a milder reason ... :P

Rohan said...

Totally agree! They are killing d language. . And yeah am using alphanumeric keypad! With T9!
@g2 lolz!

karthick r said...

@flawsophy - good one
@g2: Worst is they do this in office communicator.
'Gimme a min. I'm cummin'
It makes me wonder. who turned you on that you are cum'in here :D

RG said...

About spellings: A coworker of mine writes "I am cumming" on IM. Its hard to vanquish those mental pictures :)

About innocence: Blue pill it is :)

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