Thursday, April 22, 2010


I must say my interest in (watching) cricket has been rejuvenated, of late. For a couple of years now, I had been practicing the cricket-abstinence mainly because of one reason - too much of it. Any time of the year, these boys in blue are always on TV competing with the out-of-talent, out-of-work yet media attention craving reality TV stars for the 4th position in the "Most Popular Celebrity Demographic" contest in the country. But recently, I got all worked up. All thanks to IPL 3 … err … DLF® IPL 3.

A score of things changed over the years - the players, the strategy, the formats, the look and Harsha Bhogle's bald head, to name a few after omitting the cheer leaders. But one thing has gotten stuck in my mind that is as nagging as that tiny, elusive fiber of sugarcane between your molars which doesn't come off easily. According to me, there are certain terms being over-used during the commentary that we can totally do without.

What's the deal with these new found vocabulary - "Karbonn kamaal® catch", "DLF® Maximum", "Citi® Moment of Success" (this is the worst as you have to be watching to figure out if it's a wicket or a boundary) or the "MRF® Blimp". Ok … I offer the grace for the blimp. If something is already hovering in the sky and they want to use the camera anyway to get a shot of it, let there be some reading material on it. But why are they altering technical terms in cricket? These sleaze-bag marketing weasels of various sponsors not only crapped all over the telecast - on players, on grounds, on tickets, on equipment, on related merchandise and intermittent ads and now they want to make their way into the language and the technicalities. And please, it sounds ugly, at least to me. For one thing, I would be much happier if I was out caught and NOT Karbonn kamaaled! It's a terrible thing to get out but it's even worse if my dismissal is referred to that way. Wokay?

Ok. I am not being all cynical. Obviously, there are good things with this kind of trend. Here's a mild example. Let's say you are penning a highly anticipated autobiography. You can get sponsors for every Kodak® moment of your life:

Chp. 1 : The story of my birth - brought to you by Dr. Suribabu Lavangam Hospitals® ("Trust us with your moments - be it first or the last ones")

Chp. 2 : Childhood and Schooling - co-sponsored by Brittania® biscuits and Surya Tailors® ("The most trusted name in town for your school uniforms").

Chp. 3 : College years - A Margadarsi Chit Fund co-op limited® Initiative

Chp. 4: Marriage - This Fevicol® Jodi is also co-sponsored by Center-Shock® bubble gum (I have no idea why a bubble gum would want to sponsor anyone's marriage … )

Chp. 5 : The mid-life crisis - co-sponsored by Swami Nityananda® (Scandals Division) and the Rakhi Sawant® Career Insecurities Pvt. Ltd. ( " 'Coz Some people never stop selling themselves shamelessly").

… and so on. You get the drift. So, as long as we are adding brand names to technicalities of life, why not just make it a more human and a more personal experience. What say? And by the way, you are welcome. Thanks, but I don't need a sponsor for my free® advice.

P.S.: Some of the sponsors aforementioned may not be available at all times. Please contact individual sponsors for further updates.

1 comments :

g2 said...

Yes agree with the way Lalit Modi and IPL treats its viewers. I can understand that he wants to make money from it but why can't they make money professionally? Why insert 2 ads in the middle of the over? why screw up the commentary?

All this made me wish DD was telecasting it too... the commentary may be funny but at least sixes are sixes and not DLF maximums!

Chapter 8: The last chapter (sponsored by Max life insurance)

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